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Posts tagged “Slices

SOL – March 13 “I long to be your friend but how can I? “

I long to be your friend but how can I?

I long to be your friend but how can I, if I am not friendly.

I wish to make you happy but how could I, if I am so sad myself.

I want you to stay good but how could you, when I do you so much wrong.

I try to reassure you while I’m feeling so unsure.

I try to offer guidance when I’m a castaway.

I wish to soothe your pain but I have no remedy for my own ache.

I hope that you’ll forgive me because I cannot forgive myself.

I hope you’ll comprehend: I’m utterly depressed, constantly rude, tactlessly selfish, but still…

Your friend.


SOL – March 10th “A Familiar Face”

A Familiar Face

One of the things about studying at a language department is that you often run into people you haven’t seen in a while: as it turns out it’s not always a pleasant surprise. This was one of those days.

As I turned to the right after going up the stairs, I intended to take a casual look around, but I was cut off halfway, I caught a glimpse of the strangely familiar face, and before I could recognize the long memorized features, my body betrayed my mind. I stiffened, every muscle in my body tensed, and then absolutely involuntarily I took a step backwards. I looked up again warily, I saw her now, and I felt relieved when I recognized her and I understood my first reaction. Relief that lasted for about a fraction of a second because the anger, the rage, the fury that I felt for the next minute was indescribable. It all just came back to me: the blasphemy, the banter, and the ridicule, the almost daily threats of violence, the one time she got to me…

I stared at her face now, blatantly. She noticed. She looked at me curiously and smiled tentatively. Well I was certainly not expecting that! She waited expectantly now. Was she crazy? Had she honestly forgotten? “Maybe bullies only have a short term memory” I thought to myself, “or they have no conscience.” I took three steps forward, (involuntarily again), my heart was exhilarated; pumping with sanguine anticipation, in the tip of my mouth I could savor the sweet taste of vengeance. My fists clenched, but not out of fear anymore but out of power and control, they searched for retribution. And then I woke up from my daydream.

What was I going to do! I had to quarry with myself for the next few seconds. “It was a long time ago” I said to myself, ”You’ve both grown up now, it’s different” “ You cannot take revenge, What could you possibly do? … I stood there thinking… “She’s probably a nice person now” –Ppfh!- I laughed sardonically and strode away. – Not worth it. – I mumbled just like in the old times, but this time I truly meant it.


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SOLSC_March 24. Spring Cleaning

Memories in boxes
……stocked up in dark corners,
…………long forgotten full of dust.


In between spider webs
……secrets are kept hidden
…………under the shadow of their threads.

 

Insignificant precious junk
……filling up the house,

…………cluttering the walls,
………………eating up our space.


How we long for them to stay
……..C linging on to that last bit of evidence from the past.

ories in boxes
stocked up in dark corners,
long forgotten full of dust.
.
In between spider webs
secrets are kept hidden
under the shadow of their threads.
.
Insignificant precious junk
filling up the house,
cluttering the walls,
eating up our space.
.
How we long for them to stay.
Clinging on to that last bit of evidence from the past.

.


SOLCS 23 – A Slice Of My Life “Writing Again”.

You pick up your pencil and stare at the empty space … you sigh.
You are convinced that you are finally ready, you have considered it for a few minutes, and you even repeat a couple of phrases; “it sounds good” you say to yourself. Hesitantly, you ponder over your options for a few minutes…
If you are lucky you’ll grow tired soon, feeling incapable as always, you’ll set down the pencil and leave things as they are. Life will go on, and you’ll keep on carrying that heavy endless monologue inside your head, that won’t be remembered, nor repeated, nor read, by anyone ever again, not even yourself since you will soon forget it; if you are lucky.
However, if you find that inner strength you’ve been hoping for, If you’ve got it (even for just a second), there’s no turning back: you have surely written (without doing so) a tragic disappointment. You will hurt yourself one more time, as if instead of a pencil, in your hand you held a rusty dagger. Fooled with endorphins, adrenalin, and other treacherous things, your brain does not realize this at first, so, pencil in hand, you face the white page.
And then, almost magically the monologue disappears, it can barely be heard now like a long lost echo fading away into the distance. And your mind, before saturated with words, is now like the page in front of you: wordless.
“How is it possible? This cannot be happening again!” –you think. And it has happened so many times it starts to feel like déjà vu. You had been so sure you could do it this time, so how come you are still waiting for it to happen. This is getting ridiculous! You keep asking yourself why, and coming up with no answer. It’s been so long since you were able to write freely and effortlessly. “But I’ll be patient. I’ll fix myself someday. I will” – You promise. 

 



Slice of Life Challenge

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Slice of Life Daily Challenge at: http://twowritingteachers.wordpress.com/