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Archive for March, 2012

SOL – March 13 “I long to be your friend but how can I? “

I long to be your friend but how can I?

I long to be your friend but how can I, if I am not friendly.

I wish to make you happy but how could I, if I am so sad myself.

I want you to stay good but how could you, when I do you so much wrong.

I try to reassure you while I’m feeling so unsure.

I try to offer guidance when I’m a castaway.

I wish to soothe your pain but I have no remedy for my own ache.

I hope that you’ll forgive me because I cannot forgive myself.

I hope you’ll comprehend: I’m utterly depressed, constantly rude, tactlessly selfish, but still…

Your friend.


More than a year actually!

“One year… I wish I had done more, written more, shared more. I wish I could have been more responsible, more consistent,  more engaging”.

 

Earlier today I was looking  at my clustermap (what an ego! I know) and so I happened to notice that it’s been a year since I set it up, which automatically made me realize it’s been a year since I set up my blog. “Wow!” I thought to myself “What are you going to do about it?”…

So I began to look at some old stuff, particularly my ‘About Page‘, which I wrote when I didn’t even know how to blog yet, and I thought it needed an urgent renewal. But then I thought: “Who reads the ‘About Page‘ anyway?” so I decided to share what I came up with:

How it all started.

When I first started my Advanced Writing Course in the university I was prepared for almost anything, I knew I was about to change the way I wrote and learn so much more about writing in English, I was prepared to shake my foundations and change my perspectives. But little did I know that this blog would become such an essential tool in doing so.

It was a challenging surprise! And as it turns out I have enjoyed writing and sharing in my very own blog – (She says proudly) -. I couldn’t be more grateful with my teacher and my mentor for putting me in the right direction and for providing me with such good tools to become a better writer.

And though it’s been a long road since then and ( I have to admit) I’ve been way too inconsistent, I still have the same desire. I want to be better, and I’ll never stop fighting (even if I have to fight myself).


SOL – March 10th “A Familiar Face”

A Familiar Face

One of the things about studying at a language department is that you often run into people you haven’t seen in a while: as it turns out it’s not always a pleasant surprise. This was one of those days.

As I turned to the right after going up the stairs, I intended to take a casual look around, but I was cut off halfway, I caught a glimpse of the strangely familiar face, and before I could recognize the long memorized features, my body betrayed my mind. I stiffened, every muscle in my body tensed, and then absolutely involuntarily I took a step backwards. I looked up again warily, I saw her now, and I felt relieved when I recognized her and I understood my first reaction. Relief that lasted for about a fraction of a second because the anger, the rage, the fury that I felt for the next minute was indescribable. It all just came back to me: the blasphemy, the banter, and the ridicule, the almost daily threats of violence, the one time she got to me…

I stared at her face now, blatantly. She noticed. She looked at me curiously and smiled tentatively. Well I was certainly not expecting that! She waited expectantly now. Was she crazy? Had she honestly forgotten? “Maybe bullies only have a short term memory” I thought to myself, “or they have no conscience.” I took three steps forward, (involuntarily again), my heart was exhilarated; pumping with sanguine anticipation, in the tip of my mouth I could savor the sweet taste of vengeance. My fists clenched, but not out of fear anymore but out of power and control, they searched for retribution. And then I woke up from my daydream.

What was I going to do! I had to quarry with myself for the next few seconds. “It was a long time ago” I said to myself, ”You’ve both grown up now, it’s different” “ You cannot take revenge, What could you possibly do? … I stood there thinking… “She’s probably a nice person now” –Ppfh!- I laughed sardonically and strode away. – Not worth it. – I mumbled just like in the old times, but this time I truly meant it.


The Just a Peek EFL Writing Community

 


SOL- March 6th “New”

New!

&

The Just a Peek EFL Writing Community

Lying under a dark, warm, safe place I found them. Almost like magic, one morning they suddenly were there. These little things were hidden away by a protective belly, purring and snoring, sleeping and stretching, and caring for nothing. And certainly doing a lot of eating!

But they cannot see me or their hysterical mother as I approach; their tiny eyelids are still shut.

They are loved and embraced, looked upon with great curiosity and wonder by the foreigner human, or else…

But they can only feel their mother’s tender embrace, they can only listen to her heartbeat or feel each others fury face. Until one day: “Pop!” their eyes are open and a bright new world awaits.